Dear Shabi’s

Blog for 19th March 2019 – Thursley Common

Its such a long time ago this blogger can’t really remember what happened so I’ll just make it up as per usual.

As is the tradition with blogs lets talk about the riders first.

Many of you will notice the occasional attendance of Amanda (nickname Spanish as in Armada) and Tim (nickname Polly – surname Parratt), and they come as a team, so perhaps a little background would be useful information regarding these two occasional, but accomplished riders. Spanish is in fact a Legal Operative during her day job and works for the well known legal firm Sue Grabbit & Runne and works in “mergers and Acquisitions”. So in summary she spends her days shouting down the phone at poor hapless minions and fleecing old grannies out of their life savings, whilst lining the pockets of grasping middle aged directors who feel they deserve lots of money for “pushing the envelope with blue sky thinking into a new paradigm”. I am not sure she is indeed the grasping cut-throat operator she likes people to believe, but then again, I’m not volunteering to find out if this theory is correct. Conclusion – stick with deep respect and you’ll probably survive your first encounter.

Polly is meanwhile is a quiet and thoughtful individual as his day job is farming. Perhaps he is trying to calculate the gross tonnage EU subsidy per acre whilst he is riding along, and he is man who seems to have a lot on his mind most days. Anyway if you are thinking of turning your back garden into a significantly large prairie style arable farming conglomerate – Polly is your “go to” man for advice.

So anyway onto the ride. It was the standard Thursley route with: Polly, Spanish, Sir Fallalot, Dave the Plasterer, Plastic Man, Dobbie, Slumpy, Algernon, Chuffy, Smashie and Tonka. Chuffy was RM with Smashie as Deputy RM at the rear.

No real dramas until we reach the “north shore” in the lake. The Peleton enter the boards and are halfway round (and consequently in the middle of the lake surrounded by water as far as the eye could see) and we find the elf and Safety Police have been out and put a bit of plastic tape around a missing board. It was a close call – we all could have died in a horrible and nasty way. Phew – thankfully the strands of red and white Sellotape stopped us just in time, and we were able to dismount and step over the perilous 4” gap.

After this emotional moment of near catastrophe there is much silent reflection in the peleton and we traverse more common, the golf course and are heading for home via Hankley Common. Unfortunately, another catastrophe befalls us as Algernon’s rear derailleur gets caught in his rear wheel. Bits of derailleur, jockey wheels and chain links spray out in all directions. Smashie immediately attends to try and get our hero on the move again but pronounces the power train as being well and truly flucked.

So the Peleton splits with Smashie going to pick up the Pikey van to return and collect Algernon and Dobbie whilst the rest of the Pelton head for the pub.

Smashie eventually finds Algernon and Dobbie in a forest car park pathetically grateful for rescue (I think they might have been invited to join into some Dogging action and were advised that “just saying no” wasn’t good enough – so they had to find another car park and quickly).

Back at the pub all is well and here are the scores on the doors.

I LOVE YOU ALL

Smashie :-)