25 Feb, Grumpy, Compton, (9,10)
25th February 2020 - the grumpy Landlord is no more
First some earth-shattering news:
The Grumpy Landlord has retired and the new publicans can actually smile and are welcoming – this caused some consternation when we came in to pre-order and there was dark muttering in the ranks.
Secondly you may recall from a previous Biography about Faff Cheeks that he is a man who likes order, and everything should have its place. Consequently, he has done some in depth reverse trend standard deviation analysis of the state of the SHABI rider and bicycle fleet and advises that all bikes/riders will be classed as either:
1. Fully fit (think new bike standards)
2. Limited role (think new bike after being ridden 3 times)
3. Non taskworthy, (think dobbie's bike)
4. Not in use (think Genghis when there's an 'air moisture content' >="The Sahara")
He goes on to state that this classification is not really a definition of “readiness” but more “vehicle condition”. Apparently “readiness” is defined as having nine levels R1-10 and the number represents the number of days before the kit is fully fit again.
Confused – well YES! So let’s give some examples:
1. Slumpy is currently Not in use R8 – ie he can’t ride because he has the flu and it will be at least 8 days before he recovers.
2. Genghis is a Limited role R2 as this was his first ride in 2020 and he is at least two days behind everyone else
This fascinating game of categorisation could go on forever but I would need to kill myself first, so lets get on with the ride.
After the shocking revelation about the Grumpy Landlord there was another life changing event that means “it will never be the same again…ever!”
BIG RING HAS A NEW BIKE. OMG WTF!!!!
In celebration of this momentous event we formed an honour guard of SHABI’s and Big ring rode past to a shower of confetti to break the “ribbon of fame”. Even Her Majesty was there to officiate the first ride of Big Ring’s new WHYTE 29er bike.