4 Feb, Grayshott, (8,16)
Its been a while now since Smashie compiled a blog due to the enthusiastic response to the call for more RM volunteers. Let’s face it a great improvement over the usual suspects.
Nevertheless, the old dog that is Smashie volunteered again, and although many felt he would have been wise not to do so, he pitched in to lead the ride and most felt it would be cruel to say anything.
However, as we all know by now, before we talk about the ride, lets talk about the riders, and;
This weeks in depth character assassination is our dearly beloved Strangely Brown (SB)
Be warned, you may get ‘triggered’ as the following piece although an accurate description, could be construed as racist if you are part of the liberal left elite living in North London or a University Student.
SB was born in 1723 as the result of a “liaison” between The Earl of Brown and his Chambermaid Miss Strangely. In those days everything was hushed up to avoid scandal so Miss Strangely was given a cottage on the Estate and the young Strangely Brown was given the privileged upbringing like any illegitimate love child of a senior member of the Aristocracy.
As a lad SB excelled in Tiddlywinks (going on to become European Champion twenty-three times in a row before an unfortunate injury during a “tiddle off” forced retirement).
Moving on, SB quickly found his metier in the fashion (chemical) industry and became the leading salesman for a cosmetics firm specialising in “the all over body tan experience”. However, our hero had an unfortunate industrial accident when he fell into a vat of stuff designed to make a “person of colour” even more a “person of colour”.
Thus, he came out of the A&E department the colour of the night. Using the generous compensation offered he has been trying to change his appearance ever since but the cost has been high. Constant washing in Sulphuric Acid and bleach has many unfortunate side effects. He was 6’ 9” and is now 5’ 3”. He used to have all his own teeth and hair but sadly no more.
Notwithstanding the many challenges SB has faced in life his current state of retirement has suited him well and he has started “banger racing” in his spare time. I think you will all agree a valued SHABI rider.