A huge thanks to all the SHABI's who made a baby's dream come true yesterday, by transporting her from Farnham to Bognor on 2 wheels - all the time observing social distancing rules.
It was great fun, and I am looking forward to the return leg!
Here are some highlights: (Click full screen icon on video)
SHABI Annual Relay to the Seaside (ARSE)
Can you answer yes to any of the following questions?
I like riding my bike and having a bit of a laugh with the Shabi’s but want to be able to do that whilst sticking to the lockdown rules
I previously spent exactly £17 a week on pub grub and am struggling to know how to put this money to good use
I want to be able to tell my Nieces / Nephews / Grandchildren how I played my part in defeating the Coronavirus by transporting a plastic baby 70 miles by bicycle in a single day for a trip to the seaside in aid of the NHS
I am bored out of my box under lockdown and just want to know more
If so, then getting involved the SHABI ARSE this year could be for you.
Q) What’s this bollocks about?
A) A one day relay race (Operation ARSE) in which SHABI team members transport an item from North to South on an off-road route from Farnham to the beach at Bognor.
Q) Who had that stupid idea?
A) Binky had the original idea but was told to forget about it by Child Protection Authorities due to ‘an incident’ in the 1980s.
I subsequently had a similar idea after seeing how our individual rides under lockdown might overlap in some way. And wishing I was on the beach where Nick lives.
Q) What about social distancing?
A) Not a problem as each leg will be undertaken individually by SHABI riders. Transfer of the item will be done in a strictly controlled way - just like your last Amazon delivery.
Q) What’s the item and is it illegal?
A) No, it’s a plastic baby in a swimsuit.
Q) Will it cost me owt?
A) Yes - the entry fee is a contribution of £17 (or multiples Thereof) to the Captain Tom NHS fund. If someone wants to volunteer to set up a Shabi Just Giving page then we can see what we’ve raised.
A) No - these are challenging times and no one will be expected to contribute if they don’t feel they can.
Q) When is it?
A) Aiming at VE Day weekend - 9th or 10th May depending on people’s availability and weather. Fallback weekend will be the 16/17th.
Q) What do I need to do now?
A) If you’re up for getting involved, reply to Faff Cheeks with an email saying which stage you are able to do and confirming your availability for each of those weekends. You’ll be able to roughly work out what time of day you’ll need to commit to by simply establishing your geographic latitude in relation to the start point in Farnham and the finish point in Bognor. Once we’ve determined who can do what stage you’ll then be advised who your ‘Upstream’ and ‘Downstream’ ARSE participants are and will be expected to liaise with them to plan your: Route, Estimated Handover time and Handover location (preferably in an interesting location rather than a car park!). Handover times will need to be closely monitored on the day by keeping an eye on progress via Whattsapp.
The proposed stages are:
Farnham to Kettlebury Hill, Hankley common, Hitlers Bunker (befitting the 75th Anniversary of VE Day).
Hitlers Bunker to Gibbett Hill
Gibbett Hill to the Links Pub
Links Pub to Liss Railway station
Liss Railway station to the Midhurst Car park
The Midhurst car park to Glatting beacon (masts overlooking Bognor)
Glatting Beacon to Arundel Car park
Arundel Car Park to Bognor
Note 6, 7 and 8 above to be modified depending on volunteers
Q) Ok i get it Faff Cheeks, are there any other trivial details you want to bore me with?
A) Yes. The exercise involves the Shabi’s being jointly responsible for the care of a Minor, admittedly only for a single day. To ensure safeguarding it will be referred to as “The Baby” in order to protect its identity. Photos and videos of Baby and Participants at interesting locations en route and posted on social media will be actively encouraged. Baby will travel in a plastic ziplock bag throughout the journey for epediemclogical reasons (and will be decontaminated using the accompanying anti bacterial wipes after each stage or photo shoot).
Q) Aye allreet. Owt else?
A) Yes, a few simple rules.
No driving allowed
To be completed in one day - Baby must arrive in Bognor by bedtime.
Saturday or Sunday choice is weather dependant – FC’s decision is final and will be made by COP Thurs
You may pair up but social distancing applies throughout - a 10m separation advised in convoy and strict 2m at handover points.
Q) Is this even possible in a single day?
A) Possibly not but there’s only one way to find out, and planning it will be fun. Just like D Day.
Look forward to hearing from you soon.
Faffy (Stage 1 - Farnham to Hitlers bunker. 7am start.)