29 June 21 – Oxdrove tracks Alresford
Smashie is back!!!
However, in time honoured tradition, before we talk about the ride, lets talk about the riders. Probably good place to start is our very own Smashie. After having a “funny turn” he was admitted to hospital with a “suspected Stroke”. Franky having a “funny turn” is fairly normal for our Smash, so no news there. After many tests, and more tests, no diagnosis was possible other than a bold statement along the lines of “we have found a working heart and a brain, but we are not sure if the brain is working at all”.
Then came a more “good news and bad news”:
The good news; performance enhancing drugs on prescription.
The bad news; banned from driving for a month and a diet.
Now whilst the effects of taking drugs wears off, and our Smashie is once again terrorising other road users in the Travelling Community van….. the diet is causing much consternation. The target he has been set is a reduction from 15 and a bit stone to a weight beginning with 13 stone. Smashie reports diets are miserable. It seems the first rule of dieting is to identify everything you like eating and then stop eating it.
However - some progress is evident:
As you can imagine the SHABI peleton have been very supportive, and during the evening meal on a Tuesday, have been seen waving chips under Smashie’s nose to see if he will “break”. One can only wonder what psychological side effects all this is going to have on a man with a history of “funny turns”. It is understood that Smashie is currently very keen on learning how to “get big air” on his bike. This can only end badly.
So anyway, on with the ride
As the faithful gather in the Alresford car park we welcome once again new rider Lee aka Lecky Lee. He rides a new-fangled electric Specialized full carbon battery powered mean machine.
Also ready for the off were; Slasher Giles, Slumpy, LBD, Genghis, CFB, C2C7 (making a very welcome return after many months of arresting people for offending other people), Chuff DRM, Strangely and Big Ring and Smashie as RM.